more on Baghdad
al-Sahhaf hired by Guardian!

Crows shall feed on (UK Chancellor of the Exchequer) Gordon Brown's pancreas!

Three things struck me immediately about Gordon Brown's budget yesterday: lies, lies and more lies. He has the audacity to say that he will increase borrowing by �12bn over the next three years, when we all know that he and his illegitimate cohorts will be shamed out of office by a huge Tory triumph in May's local elections. There is no way the Conservatives can lose this. Labour cannot survive. They know this and they are desperate.

* Do not believe any rumours you have heard about Jude Law and Sadie Frost being reconciled, because in truth they were never apart. They remain together now as they always have been, and refuse to be defeated by lies promulgated by journalists intent on destroying them. Therefore, in order to demonstrate their continued solidarity to the world, they have told me that they will reaffirm their marriage vows next week on live television. You heard it here first.

* As I write this I am sitting in the courtyard of my summer house in Basra, contemplating the annihilation of the invaders sent by the criminal bastards Bush and Blair. Earlier in the week I watched as joyous Iraqis celebrated our triumph by pulling down - with the help of defecting American soldiers - Baghdad's only statue of actor Robert Donat as Mr Chips. I understand it was quite a good film, but we have no need of your imperialist icons now. Saddam has freed us from your oppressive rule, so we are saying goodbye to your Mr Chips. Ha! I have made myself laugh! I will not gloat further over this thrilling but predictable defeat which vindicates me so completely. Suffice to say that Max Clifford owes me a box of Cohibas. Thanks, everybody, and Death To America.

Personally I think the Great Statue Toppling has the al-Sahhaf signature touch as well.