28 July 2004

HM Department of Vague Paranoia

In an effort to worry the public and convince them to vote for us again next year, and because George Bush asked us to, this website includes the common sense advice found in the Preparing for Emergencies booklet, and information on what the government is doing to protect the country as a whole. (Hint: we're praying really, really hard.) National editions of the booklet will be available here when we can be arsed to get translators to put them into your crazy moon languages.

From 2nd August, translations of the booklet into 16 languages will be available on this website. They will be in : Arabic, Bengali, Chinese, English, Farsi, French, Greek, Gujarati, Hindi, Kurdish, Punjabi, Somali, Turkish, Urdu, Vietnamese and Welsh. In the meantime, just assume that we don't care about you.

You will also be able to order copies of the booklet in audio tape, large print, and Braille formats. We wouldn't have bothered, but Blunkett insisted.

An alert, but not alarmed Boing Boing managed to register this name in the co.uk domain. HM Government are presumably less alert but more alarmed, because they only secured the name in the .com domain.

Fortunately HM Britannic Government has not adopted HM Australian Government's devastating tactic of issuing fridge magnets of mass protection

Coming soon, The Pillow Book of John Winston Howard or How to entertain really disturbing fantasies about the person of the President of the United States. I'd recommend getting in a good supply of ship's biscuit.

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